Friday, August 7, 2009

On Eden (the male/female dynamic)

This morning I woke up thinking about Eden, about the male/female paradigm that has been rapidly shifting for over a decade now. Many women that I know, within a fifty year age span seem to be more openly referring to men as, "scumbags, perverts, assholes and bastards" to only note a few adjectives. I've been taking a large step back to look at the bigger picture, to figure out what has changed and only two words comes to mind, the internet. You have to wonder if the internet for men is some awful creation the way spell-check is for children of the 21rst century. Does it totally strip the male species of their responsibility and integrity?

I try to justify to my female friends in a multitude of ways that we are all somewhat responsible for these changes, arguing, "men are the hunters and gatherers..that is in their innate character and maybe the internet has turned it into a character flaw. There are some great men out there" but usually all I get in response is, "oh yeah, then find one and make a believer out of me." Well, I'm not Davy Jones but I still stick by my theory.
I have tried to always take a step back from the male/female patterning, to understand that at the end of the day we are all human beings. Which brings me to another point, who even thought up this relationship bullshit? Isn't the experience of being human and the survival aspect challenging enough? Yet it's that good old organ that gets us all every time, (get your minds out of the gutter) i'm referring to the heart. The heart for all of it's beauty and it's worth, for all of it's inspiring romantic nature, is truly a trickster. It is the coyote of the body, and even if it's shut down it still somehow finds a way to wear it's own 'mini heart' on it's small sleeve just long enough to make the average human being continue to yearn for love. For all of it's light, the heart can be a very dark experience. It can be the cause of massive pain, death and misuse.

Look, I've experienced terrible interactions with men and put my heart in vulnerable situations that left me with my ass kicked to the curb feeling like a total fool. Yet for all the crap that comes with having a heart, I must say one thing that I am grateful for is that I have yet to get bitter about love. I think this is due to the fact that as a woman I still have a lot to work on within my own self.

The internet has completely brought up anything that has been culturally buried since year one. It's kind of odd to think that technology takes us back to excavate the theories, the mythology and better understand the biblical stories, reopening Eden like a much-loved Pandora box. As much as the internet, the forums, dating sites, the pornography may indeed bring up a man's true colors I have arrived at a place in my life where I am oddly grateful for it on many levels.

Since time began women have been blessed with the power of intuition. There is nothing more powerful than intuition, even Einstein journaled about it when he wrote, "the only real valuable thing is intuition ." So, maybe Eve did what she did, yanked the apple and bit into it hoping to find out what the real deal was with Adam? I've always though that maybe all of the stuff that comes up in Genesis, the dirt, the baggage, the seduction was represented by Leviathan, the serpent. I'm beginning to wonder as time goes by and relationships evolve if maybe the serpent doesn't represent the heart?
I'm not going to ramble on and on about how we all must join hands and hum Kumbaya around the campfire. This isn't a crusade to justify men or women and their actions or missteps. However, I do think maybe the male/female dynamic that's been surfacing for centuries is here to teach us all to go within.

In the book, "Eat, Pray, Love" the author's 'texas yogi' Richard says to her, "so what you fell in love?" at this moment in the book she is confiding in him about the heartbreak she is processing in India after losing her 'soulmate.' Richard the yogi, reminds her, "..that was rinky dink mortal love, you have the ability to one day love the entire world."
I must confess this is my favorite part of the book and yet I still love mortal love. Maybe mulling over this all, is good because I've stopped trying to understand it, to obtain it, to figure out the skeletons of couples. After every relationship why must we preform an autopsy only to say, "ah! so that was what was wrong! I knew it from the start!" I'm putting my surgical gloves away.

Men and women are the best teachers for each other. A world without either would be stagnant and unbalanced. While women have reclaimed their power and their rights, men need to step back and let go, to trust. There is a garden of Eden within each of our lives, it's the every day war within. The man vs. the woman, the man lusting after the woman, the woman running from the man, the re-lusting after she stops to think "wait he was cute", the confusion, the late night ice cream and romantic comedy.

From Catherine to Heathcliffe, Elizabeth to Mr. Darcy, estates like Tara and even on the streets of New York City, men and women love to love and always will in my opinion. Maybe all that's changed is a reclaiming of the apple, the truth of integrity, the root reborn, responsibility of pride, luxury of deceit, unfolding of temptation, maybe we are more alike than we care to admit.


Jon Kay said...

I wanted to say I thought this was a great post. There are great men out there, just like there are great women out there. I just takes some digging to get through the trash.

Hope all is well, and hope to hear from you soon.

Jon Kay and family.

Knowing Photography said...

Thank you Jon! I just saw that you wrote this!! Happy New Year to you and yours!!!